Look like that I'm so desperate

It's almost the end of 2009.. And in the next 21 days we're gonna start our new year..
I wish next year I can be a better person.

This month I need to spend more time to think about what I'm gonna achieve next year. I'm starting it with writing all the hopes that I wanna have next year. This time is a little bit harder than before since I need to decide which direction of my life that i need to take.. Which one that I should prioritize first.. It became harder since I am 25 years old now.. In that age, all the women in the same age with me already have their own family and having cute babies, and etc..

I just don't know..
Sometimes when I looked around or gathered with my friends, I'm thinking about how happy I am if I can be like them, already married or have cute babies.. besides that they have lovely husband who always taking care of them and always be there for each other..
When I'm seeing my self comparing to them, I just all alone in here.. well,not exactly "alone".. I have so many friends in here.. but things getting different now.. I need more deep relation, not just having fun with friends, but sometimes I need the feeling of belong to someone..

and to be honest.. I am tired for having too many fun.. I've did everything to make my self happy.. and miss to make someone special feels happy.. too bad that I don't have any someone special rite now.. :D
Sometimes I think about choosing one of the boys who approach me and wish love will grow after.. but I think that is not wise decision..

Well, like what someone said.. Just wait and keep doing all the best that I can to improve my life quality.. there is someone for me out there.. who looking for me and he just on his way on finding me..haha..So just wait!